Identity Wars
by Katya Stepanov
This is far from the first time I have thought about who I would be if my parents and I never fled the Soviet Union.
I was born in Minsk, Belarus, which was Minsk, U.S.S.R. just 4 days prior to my arrival.
My great-grandfather Isaak Erlikh was born in a shtetl in Berdichev, Ukraine to Boris and Eugenia Erlikh. Isaak traveled to the farthest eastern coast of Siberia to build a new city for the Soviet empire and there he met my great-grandmother Valya, a Russian girl from a nearby village.
After they were married, they moved back to Ukraine, where my grandmother was brought into the Jewish way of life in the shtetl. When WWII began, Valya convinced the Erlikh family to flee back home to Siberia to escape the Nazis.
My grandmother was born in Kemerovo, Siberia in the middle of WWII. When I call her to ask her how she’s doing now that the Russian stations are canceled in America, she says to me, “remember, we must continue living. Life goes on. If life stopped every time there was a war, I wouldn’t exist.”
When the war ended, they moved to Minsk, Belarus, where my grandmother met my grandfather Jacob Superfin and gave birth to my mother, Tatiana.
A nuance many don’t understand is that in the USSR your nationality was determined by your “bloodline” while your citizenship was determined by your birthplace. Both were listed on your passport.
If we had stayed in Belarus, my Mom says I would be considered Jewish-Russian-Ukrainian by nationality, and Belarusian by citizenship. (Try to wrap your head around that one.) She adds, “The great irony is that many people wouldn’t identify you as Russian or Belarusian or Ukrainian if we were still in the Soviet Union… you’d be considered Jewish above all other identities.” My great-grandfather settled in Minsk not Moscow because those who were identified as Jewish would not be hired in Moscow after WWII. The irony of this truth is not lost on me.
If my parents had never left the U.S.S.R. then last year, I would have been arrested for protesting the Belarusian dictatorship. Today, I would likely be arrested for protesting the Russian dictatorship.
Instead, I am now an “American”, carrying this intertwined geopolitical identity war within me.
As a terrible war wages in my homeland(s), I wonder if and how these intertwined identities will be understood here in the U.S.?
I share this with you in the hopes that my story will give a deeper look at the complex identities Eastern European refugees around the world carry within us, and the confusion many of us are feeling right now as while we try to focus at work and organize aid for our friends and family members still in Ukraine.
As we face global crises, it is more important than ever for us all to examine the identities we carry and process the aspects of our inheritance that have left indelible marks on our psyches and souls.
If you want to hold space for open dialogue and help people in your community or workplace come together during this intense time, please reach out. We are here to help turn uncomfortable conversations into transformative brave spaces.
Let’s build bridges of understanding so we stand united against a vicious cycle of nationalism and identity-based violence.
Only when we learn to see each other as humans, first, will peace become possible.
“Classifying and judging people promotes violence. At the root of much, if not all, violence — whether verbal, or physical, whether among family members, tribes or nations — is a kind of thinking that attributes the cause of conflict to wrongness in one’s adversaries, and a corresponding inability to think of oneself or others in terms of vulnerability - that is, what one might be feeling, fearing, yearning for, missing, etc.”
RESOURCES AND LINKS TO SUPPORT UKRAINE & UKRAINIAN REFUGEES:
The list covers a lot of ground: from medical and humanitarian supplies, all the way through tactical gear that has been cleared for export. The information should be explicit enough for you to choose what aspect appeals to you.
1. Humanitarian aid collated and distributed by local Brooklyn grassroots organizations. The link contains some general information, as well as a link to an Amazon wishlist. We are collaborating with Velox International Shipping и Novaya Poshta, and have been providing direct relief at a rate of about 10 pallets per day: https://www.facebook.com/516313241/posts/10161658845868242/
2. Direct financial aid towards local organization in Ukraine, spearheaded by Anastasia Piliavsky (focused on immediate relief to the economically and medically disadvantaged and children caught in the war zone): https://www.facebook.com/610676603/posts/10158377011261604/
3. Financial aid towards medical relief supplies, for a field hospital on the Polish border, organized by a group of American doctors with ties to the immigrant community and led by Aleks Medic. The link contains comprehensive details on their methods: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jetlagfestival/permalink/5458187024208531/
4. Direct financial aid for refugees on Romanian border organized by Semyon Dukach: https://www.cashforrefugees.org/
5. Tactical gear crafting and purchasing for the Ukrainian forces as organized by Dmytro Korinenko : https://www.facebook.com/100001559543316/posts/5097293600332574/
6. Aid program organized by Nova Poshta (flagship parcel and letter carrier in Ukraine) with direct ties to the Ministry of Defense of Ukraine : https://novaposhta.ua/eng/
7. Direct financial aid to Ukrainian Army, as organized by the Ministry of Defense of Ukraine: https://bank.gov.ua/en/news/all/natsionalniy-bank-vidkriv-spetsrahunok-dlya-zboru-koshtiv-na-potrebi-armiyi
8. Razom for Ukraine - flagship Ukrainian-American partnership organization, currently dedicated to humanitarian relief efforts for the people of Ukraine: https://razomforukraine.org/donate/
My fourth great-grandfather Israel Erlikh and his wife Rachel Erlikh.
My great-grandparents Isaak and Valya Erlikh.
My grandmother Rimma Erlikh, with her family.
My mother Tatiana Erlikh, father Oleg Stepanov, and me in Minsk, Belarus.
Our arrival at JFK International Airport, 1992.